Like your mother said, watch your language!
What you say about your choices matters. This includes your internal dialogue.
I have a client who is choosing to stay at her government job for an extra year while she saves up some cash to fund her own business. Security is important to her and doing it that way – building a big financial cushion before she starts – makes her feel safe. The thought of jumping without a safety net gives her hives, so she crafted a plan that feels good. Slow and steady.
She told me about her freedom plan and then she said, “I guess I’ll just have to suck it up for a year.”
“Now hold it right there, lady”, I said. “You just came up with a kickass plan to build a business in a way that feels good to you. Does it really feel like you’re sucking it up?”
“No”, she said. “But you know what I mean.”
The language she used to describe her decision to keep her job for the next year took the wind right out of her sails, so we worked on a reframe. She came up with the following: “I’m choosing to stay in my job for another year so I can fund The Dream.”
Ahhh. Doesn’t that sound better than sucking it up?
OWN your choices. Claim them. Stand in them. Using defeated language will only make you feel…you guessed it…defeated.
Now, language alone isn’t going to cut it if you’re lying to yourself.
If your job crushes your soul and you have no exit plan, all the flowery language in the world isn’t going to make you feel good about it. In fact, it will probably make you feel worse. Lying to yourself always feels bad. I think that’s why some people have trouble with affirmations. For many, they feel like empty words projecting fake optimism.
Can’t find any authentic positive language to frame your choices? Then your problem isn’t your language, my friend; it’s your choices. And there’s only one solution for that: stop making choices that feel bad.
Published at Entrepreneur.