Perfectionism is a BEAST. So are its cousins, approval-seeking and overachieving. If you’ve ever struggled with these issues, you know they wreak havoc on your career and your personal life. Armed with love, understanding, and a good kick in the arse, these books will help you chill the fuck out so you can have a happier life.
The Desire Map: A Guide to Creating Goals With Soul
Are you chasing after the right things? This book will help you take a second look at your ambition to figure out if that’s the case. LaPorte says we have our goal-setting backwards. We strive after the things we think will make us happy, when really we ought to decide how we want to feel and then do things that make us feel that way. She’ll help you get in touch with your truest desires and then work your way to feel-good goals. I gobbled up this book on the very first day it hit the shelves, and it’s not an exaggeration to say it changed my life. Read it and start feeling good about your goals again.
The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are
If you worry way too much about what other people think, or if you constantly beat yourself up for not being ________ enough, or if you always feel like an imposter, this is your book. Constantly seeking approval is needy, stressful, and just plain exhausting. If you’re ready to kick that habit to the curb, Brown offers 10 guideposts to help you shift your thinking from “What will people think?” to “I am enough.”
The Gifts of Imperfection will teach you, both through Brown’s research and her own personal stories, that you can be imperfect and vulnerable and still absolutely worthy of success, fulfillment and happiness.
Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life
Is it really possible that four questions can change your life? You bet your ass it is. Byron Katie is crazy wise, and knows a thing or two about self-sabotage. She developed a simple, straightforward method to help you question your own thoughts, snap you out of your story, and bring you back to reality.
The premise behind this book: attachment to our thoughts causes suffering, and it doesn’t have to. While Katie’s process of undoing painful thoughts is simple, doing the actual work is hard, but totally worth it if you’re willing to go there. Pay special attention to Chapter 6, which focuses on work and money, and chapter 7, which focuses on self-judgments. Powerful, powerful stuff.